"failure is not an option"?

so, i was watching this tv series called "the challenger: muay thai" the other night.  how many of us have heard this before? "this is my last shot.  failure is not an option for me"?  perhaps in some cases the word "lose" is substituted for "failure".  either way that's the cliche i've heard quite a bit from these people who compete in these over the top reality game shows or whatever you want to refer to them as being.  you end up watching these people who think that or want you to think that their journey is over if they don't succeed on what show it is that they are competing on.  it must be the "in" thing to say.  i've heard it so many times.  i laugh every time i hear it.  poor pitiful things.  seriously, have you exhausted all other means to the point that if doesn't work this time that all is lost?  you waste this chance and now you have to give up?

do you know what i think?  i think that anyone who says that has already given up.  you lose, big deal.  pick yourself up and try again.  you can't win all the time.  i think it takes a bit of arrogance to make a statement like that as well.  anyways, in this case the guy who made the statement got his butt kicked.  so, i guess losing was forced upon him as being an option.  i bet he was confused that he didn't win.  what does he do since he left himself no options?  i know, i know.  it's a figure of speech.  i get it.  blah, blah, blah.  i've also noticed that every time i've heard that statement, the person making it sounds a bit melancholy.  they know that the possibility of failure exists, and it's about to happen and they sound scared.  it's hilarious to me.

we all want to win and be the best at something.  we all want to succeed, but we can't be afraid of failure. that's how we learn.  we look at the mistakes that we make and try to adjust so we don't make the same mistakes again.  it's how we learn to persevere.  it's makes us stronger and our desire grows stronger as long as we are willing not to give up.  we pick ourselves up and keep going.  when you win all the time, you never learn to pick yourself up when you begin to lose.

so, as i'm training, i think about can and can't finish.  while i'm optimistic about finishing, i'm still concerned about not finishing.  will it be the end of the world if i don't?  i know it won't be, but i need to  give myself the best chance to finish.  if i don't, it's not the end of the world.  i'll try again.  i don't owe anything to anybody in this.  i'll try my best to be the best that i can be.  if i fail, then i will strap my running sneakers on again and keep trying until i do.

Macau 30th International Marathon

one month from now is the anniversary date of when i ran my first half marathon.  it was in west palm beach, florida at the palm beaches marathon festival.  it was quite a stepping stone in my life and quite an accomplishment.  many of you who have seen all of my posts online last year have seen all of the workouts i posted in working up to it.  that was a great moment.  i had been running for about 15 months at the time.  i had made a lot of improvement over that time and had enough confidence to try and run in a long distance event.

i had run several 5k races by that time.  i skipped right passed running a 10k run to a half-marathon. i originally wanted to run a full marathon, but i had missed my window of time to properly train for one.  undaunted, i did my research and found a program that could get me prepared to run the race.  i was also able to find one that was relatively close by where i would be to run in.  i allowed time in my busy touring schedule to adjust training weeks so that i didn't miss a day of running and go back a week or 2 because i had a show to move and a week off work traveling to montreal and then to home in texas.  the timing worked out great.  i was well prepared for the run and finished with a huge smile.  i was a bit sore at the end, but recovered rather quickly.

this leads us to today.  it's been almost a year since i've ran in a race, but i've stayed in shape the whole time.  in my lead up to the hong kong marathon, i decided to run in the half-marathon event at the 30th macau international marathon.  it fit almost perfectly into my training calendar as well.  during week 8 i was scheduled to run the distance anyways.  however, the race occurs during week 9.  this is okay.  i'm able to shuffle the weeks around to make the run fit into the training schedule.  it'll take some juggling to get it, but i should be okay.  the question is whether i go into this and try to set a PR or not.  i think about this on every run i go on right now.  right now, i just want to get in the race and just run and not worry about a PR.  this course is no where near as flat as the palm beach course either.  i cross a bridge twice which has quite an incline.  if i'm looking at the map correctly, then there's quite a hill i have to climb at the end.  so, those alone can cause me to slow down considerably.  i'm not worried though.  i feel like i'm running stronger than a year ago.  i'm getting my mind right and staying focused on my pacing and trying to control myself to keep from starting to fast.  this one should be a fun race.  i've ran the distance before and am confident that i can have a good run.  i'll need to save myself for the rest of my training.  so, i'm not too worried about my time in this race.  i would actually like to try to run a negative split.  that's when you run the second half of the race faster than the first half.  so, i'm practicing that on my mid-week semi long run.  i've been running a hill nearby my usual route at least once a week as well.

so, i am 30 days away from racing after a year.  see you at the finish line.